Dec. 16th, 2016

cathugger: An orange-and-white cat facing to the left. The front of this face is fading into shadows. (Default)
The past few days have been good to me... or at least I can see them as being good to me now. I've still be feeling pretty bad physically but have definitely been feeling better than usual mentally. I've also been sleeping less--a lot less. The amount of sleep I need--or the amount my body thinks I need--seems to depend on my mood, which isn't surprising. But I don't usually naturally sleep for 5-7 hours. Not often. I also think that I started sleeping more when we had to decrease the dose of the new medication. Now, I've been on a higher dose for a while, and I've started another medication that could be increasing the effect of the first one. 

I'm still feeling pretty flu-like, but that's not surprising considering it's winter and about time that I start feeling worse. I do think this medication is doing something for my mental health, though, and a small fraction of the meds I've tried have done anything. So that's promising. Normally, around this time, I would have a hard time moving and probably couldn't think clearly enough to type this (not that my brain is that clear right now). I didn't think progress would be this easy. Even if it is, I still have a lot to work on.
cathugger: An orange-and-white cat facing to the left. The front of this face is fading into shadows. (Default)
SO it looks like the Prozac might actually be doing something. And that’s really surprising because I’ve tried a lot of medications, only a few of which were effective. I still think I have more of a variety in my mood, can think more clearly, and have more mental energy. Honestly, one of the most noticeable changes might be the lift of heavy fogginess in my head. Things also seem slightly more “colorful” and full of energy than before, and now my body seems to think that I only need 5-7 hours of sleep at night. Not sure if that’s a good thing.

One downside to having more mental energy is the moodiness. On days when I do have more variety in my mood, I can often get weepy or frustrated very easily. And that means I have to be more careful with splitting and black-and-white thinking. I think being stuck in such a low-energy state has helped me keep my emotions under control.

My psychiatric nurse also decided to prescribe me some low-dose lithium. That apparently can help with a variety of things.

I really appreciate my prescriber for not limiting me to small doses because of my weight. A lot of doctors I’ve been to have done that. Even if it’s a good idea, I’ve noticed that I often need much higher doses than expected to feel an effect (though there might be one or two meds that affect me more than expected). I’m supposed to continue sending her updates, and she might consider going up to 100mg (I think) because around 60-100mg is typical for the treatment of depression + OCD. I think she’s planning to slowly increase the lithium while keeping it at a relatively low dose.

If the Prozac is what’s improving my mood now (and I really think it is because I don’t think I normally feel this okay--especially in winter), it didn’t start helping with the depression until I got to about 60mg. Hopefully increasing the dose will improve my mood because I’m still not that functional like this.

Originally posted
on Tumblr.


cathugger: An orange-and-white cat facing to the left. The front of this face is fading into shadows. (Default)

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